Well our kiddoes have been sick the past few days, so I thought I'd watch a horror flick last night, why not? It turned out pretty impressive, meaning, my fingernails are gone and I still have cramps in my legs from the tension this flick gave me! I had read back around Halloween time about this little film that could called "The Descent", no not "The Decent", and the review was so well written that I figured I would place the reminder in the back of mind to watch said goodness one day. Well I was at the blue store this weekend getting way too many groceries and it was there for $5! Don't do it, I thought. It might suck and then it will be sitting there with the other outcast films you've purchased like "The Doors" and "Dude, Where's My Car?" (seriously though, the commentary makes Dude really funny). But for $5, which is how much it costs to rent now a days sadly, I figured why not? So I bought it along with "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and "The Nightmare Before Christmas" causing the checker to give me a creepy run through with her eyes. Just put them in the bag, ma'am, and be careful with my bananas.
"The Descent" was freaking creepy, claustrophobic and gorey with an excellent splash of light humor (or humour). But what made this film anything miles from the catastrophy that the trailer and film poster made me believe it was was the great direction, including the acting, script and use of cinematography. Horror films have lost that edge from the 70's and early 80's thanks to Scream and the nonsense that's flung into our theaters the last 10 years, but a few have risen, in my opinion, (since this is my blog and I still don't know what that word means or why I feel the need to write one) above and sadly hidden behind the more known films. The story goes as follows: 6 women get trapped in a cave they are spelunking (spelling?) in (and why does that sound dirty?) and mutants attack them while they try to find their way out. Sounds lame, huh? Honestly, that really does, minus the funny I tossed in. But thankfully, the team that created it really sells it off to be quite awesome and everything I hoped for it to be. This film is disgusting at times, but keeps you hooked on the suspense. I love how you can never really see what's going on in the film thanks to the low-lit cave they are in, really pulled that off well. I give "The Descent" an 8 out of 10.
So here's 25 of my other favorite (or favourite) Horror films worth checking out:
25. The Evil Dead - I know, I know. It's a cheesy b-movie, but it's such a horror/gore classic! Much like C.H.U.D. (which would have been #26) this film from the early 80's did what it could on the budget that Sam Raimi had. The gore, comedy and off the wall camera work really helped move horror films in a different direction... and Bruce Campbell's film career is born.
24. The Grudge - Most people I talk to really thought this film fell flat, though I enjoyed it. Sure SMG isn't the greatest actress, but you don't have to be as long as the direction is done right. Was Atreyu all that great in Never Ending Story? No... but I do find myself saying Artex, stupid horse quite often because the scene where Artex sinks in the swamp of sadness was directed so well. This film deserves a spot on my 20 just because it actually creeped me out, but of course was plagued with sequels. What is it with sequels and remakes to horror classics?
23. Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes (1977) - This shouldn't have been remade, but I have yet to see the remake so I will stop myself right there. The original Hills is incredible and pretty terrifying, much like the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Wes Craven pulls out all the stops here much like he did on "The Last House on the Left (1972)" (#27, if you are wondering, on my enormous horror list) with the torture stuff that I usually turn my giant Girolanose up at (Saw, Hostel, Hellraiser, etc.). This movie is nuts and the 'bad guys/rednecks' are well cast.
22. Amityville Horror (2005) - I had a tough time deciding if I wanted to go original 1979 version or the remake from '05 and decided that the remake is more of a conglomeration of a few of the originals, and since it was done really well, I'll take '05 for $500, Alex. Ryan Reynolds, known for pretty much getting all the 'cute funny guy' roles that should have gone to Zack Morris or even Jason Lee if he wasn't so old by now. But this film separated him for good. Very impressive direction, acting and all-over well done remake, and that means a lot since I despise remakes.
21. The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) - Not to be confused with "A Haunting in Connecticut", this turned out great for modern horror films. Supposedly based on a true story (right) this creepy film has a decent cast, though the Julian Moore wannabe mom is a bit much, it does have the awesome Casey Jones from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989) Elias Koteas in it. It keeps you guessing the whole way through and turned out pretty good.
20. 28 Days Later - This film was nuts! It wasn't exactly great, but mindless zombies and all the chaos definitely put this one up there. There was a good level of lite humor to keep you from grossing out, but a pretty cool idea all together and very well done.
19. I Am Legend - First off, I really don't like Will Smith. Seriously, he ruins movies for me because he's just too, well, Will Smithish. You can't really take him seriously other than like 3 films! So when I saw he was going to be in this, I thought, greeeaaat... Well I missed out on seeing it at the theater because of this reason and regret it. It was pretty moving, on top of well directed and full of awesome freak-out moments. The zombies were excellent and believe it or not, Will Smith pulled this one off with nothing left behind.
18. The Others - Another individual that I would like to 'retire' is Nicole Kidman. Seriously, what has she been in that was ever really great and deserving of 30 more films? Exactly. So she lost a ton of weight and did The Others, an excellent move on her part. From start to finish, this movie was dark and moving, keeping you pretty clueless to the twist in the end.
17. Stir of Echoes - Everyone needs at least 1 Kevin Bacon flick in their top 20, right? And since Tremors and Friday the 13th are further up (or down?) the list, here's Stir of Echoes. What a crazy idea and great ending to a stand up job in direction and acting from some Bacon.
16. Cloverfield - Much like The Grudge, you either loved this or hated it. I was seriously losing attention since the first 30 minutes seemed like I was watching a bad 90210 episode and then the choas ensues! The trick here, having you never really knowing what's going on, either annoyed you, made you nauseous or made you love the film. It over-achieved in this 'hand held' type of horror that spawned with Blair Witch and the ending was perfect.
15. War of the Worlds (2005) - Hey, it's Tom Cruise! At this point in his career, I was still beaming off of Magnolia and Minority Report, so Tom could do no wrong, especially since he left that giraffe woman of his behind, Penelope Cruz, not Nicole Kidman, though that was good too. But wouldn't it have been great to be able to say Penelope Cruz-Cruise? Cruz-Cruise... Okay, so this film obviously had a mega bank account attached to it thanks to Mr. Spielberg, but it turned out fantastic. Everything about this was unbelievable and really came out at the right time to move big blockbuster horror/diaster films along. The CGI was hauntingly real and 'most' of the acting played out well. (when his kid joins the military and disappears I think I was the only one in the theater that stood up and applauded, what a terrible actor)
14. What Lies Beneath (2000) - AWESOME. Indiana Jones and Cat Woman make a much needed comeback in this very well put together film. At a time when horror films were leaning heavy on comedy and big names to carry them, What Lies Beneath went in a different direction and pulled out a couple of semi-retired actors to help give life to an eery and plot twisting story.
13. Darkness - No it's not the evil Tooth Fairy movie that came out around the same time. Darkness stars Anna Paquin (Piano, anyone?) and for some reason this movie really stuck with me even after a third watch. I think the ending (not to give it away) really sold this movie to me. Great acting and really awesome idea.
12. The Ring - Only because it couldn't be in my top 10, and the fact that it totally freaked me out in the theater. Shock value returned with this film in a mystery setting and it worked out great in my Girolablogpinion.
11. Interview with a Vampire - Is this a horror flick? I guess it is since it deals with Vampires and lots of gore but who knows? This is such a classic though. I don't think vampire films even know where to go or what they are doing any more. If you've somehow missed this one, check it out. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas and a talented Kirsten Dunst when she was like 10 or something.
10. The Mist (2007) - No not the Fog. But it is the return of Stephen King, in my opinion. Incredible idea through and through and well acted out along with the direction. The CGI and the unbelievable ending to this film will leave you talking about this film forever. Horror films are slowly getting better and this is one the newer one that is giving the flooded genre a good punch in the beans.
9. Halloween (1978) - John Carpenter's original Halloween is to this day one of the greatest horror films ever made. Not only was it the largest independant film success, it helped create a hug new wave of horror films dawning the 'masked serial killer' age of horror. It's a shame there were so many sequels, but the original is still the best.
8. Pitch Black - Black. Easy now... I know Vin Diesel isn't the greatest of actors, but he fits in well here. To be honest, it took a lot of coaching for me to finally sit down and watch this a while back and i was hooked to the screen from start to the surprising ending. If you missed this one, check it out. It is more of a horror/sci-fi, but along the lines of The Descent, it uses the 'darkness' as an excellent visual tool to keep your next craning and your eyes buldging as things are constantly darting out at you. One of the most overlooked films, period.
7. Bram Stoker's Dracula - Tom Waits! Seriously though. One of the few horror films that actually won Oscars (3). With an unbelievable cast, direction, screenplay and visual effects that hadn't been successfully accomplished before, Dracula was an unbelievable achievement for horror films. Sure Keenu and Winona were close to awful, but thankfully the talented Cary Elwes, Anthony Hopkins, Tom Waits and Gary Oldman kept this film barreling in style. I don't think there will ever be a vampire film as amazing as this for another 10 years.
6. The Sixth Sense - Let's just say the mid 80's to late 90's pretty much almost sunk the whole horror genre, right? Well one filmmaker realized what had been missing from all those terrible Elm Street, Halloween, Candyman and Friday sequels... Hitchcock. M. Knight Shamaramadingdong used old school Hitchcock scare tactics, mystery and suspense with a little help from Donnie Wahlberg and a creepy kid to create as close to a modern horror masterpiece as possible. I don't know if this was up for best picture or not with the Academy Awards, but I think it should have been. It's a staple in everyone's horror memory and blew the socks off of that Blair Witch garbage. With an almost unexpecting twist and amazing debut direction, this one easily has a 9 out of 10 stars from the Girolagorilla.
5. Alien - I know what you're thinking. "Alien is sci-fi!" Or you could be thinking, "why am I still readin this?" Either way, it is sci-fi, but in a horror/suspense side like the monster/alien films of the 50's and 60's though done up fancy like. With several successful sequels and the original having plenty to offer, this was a landmark film for the horror genre and even won a rare Oscar for it's incredible visual effects.
4. The Exorcist - You knew it had to be on here. Almost everyone's sat through it, my sister and I having been those weird kids that watched it all the time like The Princess Bride and Goonies. It's just insanity. Amazing direction, acting oh and it's terrifyingly nasty.
3. Poltergeist - Most people don't really think this was scary, but somehow it's always freaked me out. Ghost movies were usually pretty lame other than the Amityville films, but Poltergeist changed that idea for good I believe. It had all the right things going for it and unfortunately a supposed curse to go along with it. Not many films really embedded nightmares into me as a kid, but I still have thoughts of how it made me feel nowadays, so that's a pretty awesome impact from a little ghost movie that could. Oh and Coach was in it, sweet.
2. Stanley Kubrick's The Shining - Not to discredit Mr. King, but we all purposely forgot his disaster made for tv version of the The Shining. Kubrick took Stephen King's whacked out book and turned it into an unbelievable masterpiece for horror and suspense. How Jack Nicholson didn't get best actor for the entire 80's because of this one performance blows my mind! Easily my favorite Kubrick film and my favorite King story.
1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) - What a terrifying film. If you can find a good remastered copy of it, watch it over and over again. You will see different things every time you watch and it's unbelievable that a movie could be so entrancing and shocking even to this day. Now I refuse to watch the remakes, and they could be good, but there will never be anything like the original.
(honorable mention) The Village - This movie could have been the best freaky monster in the woods film to date, but if you've seen it, you know why I was let down. What a shame from the good movie that could of been great. I grant thee an honorable mention, Joaquin!
(honorable mention) Stephen King's IT - Clowns. Tim Curry. Balloons. Stephen King. Gave me shell shock as a kid. I grant thee an honorable mention, Pennywise!
(honorable mention) Silence of the Lambs - more of a psychological thriller than horror, otherwise it would have made the top 15 for sure. Great acting and amazing suspense. I grant thee an honorable mention, Mr. Hopkins and talks like a man Jodie 'Candleshoe' Foster!
(honorable mention) Robo-Cop - it's so border-line action/adult super hero/sci-fi that I didn't know if I could get away with putting Robo-Cop in here, but it deserves to have something, so I grant thee an honorable mention, "I'd buy that for a dollar" Guy!
So there ya have it. Thanks for reading and go get some fun horror flicks for the holidays. Oh, and yeah, Jaws was pretty flippin awesome too.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Them Crooked Vultures and a head cold
That's right. Just look at this nose, a year after my septoplasty to fix the ruckus up there and whooooooat do you know? All back to normal and still funky. Oh well, could be worse, could have eaten some bad bacon and gotten swine flu (da dum chee!)
Maddie is learning to laugh, which is unexplainably awesome. Kylun is also learning his artistic side, which obviously makes me happy. Kid has a great imagination! Krisi is amazing at ever by balancing everything everyday and I learn from her constantly. Overall, very blessed and thankful.
Picked up Them Crooked Vultures album today and have to say it's incredible. Don't take my word for it, just listen to the whole thing up for free on youtube like I did last week. You will run to the store to pick it up or itunes if you are one of those folk. The album is everything, and I mean everything you'd expect from Josh, JPJ and Big Dave. It does lay heavy use on the "Era" & "Songs" QOTSA albums, as well as plenty of Zeppelin and Cream hints all around. Only a smidgen of any Foo refs, maybe just the in your face jamming on a few tracks and Dave's occasional background vocals. Mark Lanegan 'may' be singing on a couple, but as we've heard on "Era", Josh seems to mimic Mark at times. I'm very happy with the outcome here.
As we had with "Songs", Josh seems to try harder at his ideas and not settle when up with his idols on board. JPJ is as active and unbelievable as ever. This is one not to miss and it'll keep you happy, entertained and probably in heavy rotation. It's a rare album that gets even better with every listen (I'm on 8th spin since I bought it this morning including the 4 times I listened through the free stream last week on youtube).
So far this year only 3 other albums have come out that I can say the same for: Gomez: A New Tide; Into the Presence: Into the Presence ; and of course Dethklok: Dethalbum II. So the year is wrapping up pretty good minus the few mega musical disappointments given. Not sure what to expect for next year, but I'm all about super groups that do it right.
I'm always down for other finds, so drop them by me
-Grandad
Maddie is learning to laugh, which is unexplainably awesome. Kylun is also learning his artistic side, which obviously makes me happy. Kid has a great imagination! Krisi is amazing at ever by balancing everything everyday and I learn from her constantly. Overall, very blessed and thankful.
Picked up Them Crooked Vultures album today and have to say it's incredible. Don't take my word for it, just listen to the whole thing up for free on youtube like I did last week. You will run to the store to pick it up or itunes if you are one of those folk. The album is everything, and I mean everything you'd expect from Josh, JPJ and Big Dave. It does lay heavy use on the "Era" & "Songs" QOTSA albums, as well as plenty of Zeppelin and Cream hints all around. Only a smidgen of any Foo refs, maybe just the in your face jamming on a few tracks and Dave's occasional background vocals. Mark Lanegan 'may' be singing on a couple, but as we've heard on "Era", Josh seems to mimic Mark at times. I'm very happy with the outcome here.
As we had with "Songs", Josh seems to try harder at his ideas and not settle when up with his idols on board. JPJ is as active and unbelievable as ever. This is one not to miss and it'll keep you happy, entertained and probably in heavy rotation. It's a rare album that gets even better with every listen (I'm on 8th spin since I bought it this morning including the 4 times I listened through the free stream last week on youtube).
So far this year only 3 other albums have come out that I can say the same for: Gomez: A New Tide; Into the Presence: Into the Presence ; and of course Dethklok: Dethalbum II. So the year is wrapping up pretty good minus the few mega musical disappointments given. Not sure what to expect for next year, but I'm all about super groups that do it right.
I'm always down for other finds, so drop them by me
-Grandad
Monday, November 16, 2009
Everything from G.I. Joe to Democrats in love...
Hello! Those 2 of you reading this, okay, 1, I kid myself... I have many things to ramble about and that's what I'm here to do today... and work too, I think. So this weekend was a good one. Had some awesome time with the kiddoes and went to CrackaSpence 09 Birthday Extravaganzer with Jabba. Very good time, indeed. Sunday was a very laid back day and though there wasn't much sleep last night due to lil' miss sunshine, I'm glad to be able to take care of her. Krisi and I are really good at taking turns with her, so that kid is already spoiled.. what to do?
So I love that I finally got around to seeing G.I. Joe, the Rise of Cobra. Sure I should have seen it in the theater, but honestly, the trailers I saw were pretty lame. Well, the movie was good. Not great, but good. Reminded me a lot of the first X-Men, meaning that it could have been much better had they known what the audience age was going to be. Obviously, with the violence and heavy use of fancy 'exciter' words they were trying for a teenage/young adult audience and not for kids, other than the Happy meal toys and long lines of action figures which just makes the kids want to see the film, right? In all honesty, the film should have been given a R rating so they could have made it AWESOME. The film obviously wasn't intended for kids, I will argue to the grave on that, so why sugar coat it and why not go ahead and full steam it? Oh yeah, because it would have made less money at the box office. Oops. So it was just a bit of a heavy PG-13 lack luster flick that shoulda coulda been great.
Pros and cons on it? Sure if you're actually reading this far...
Pros - First off, Scarlett, Duke, Hawk, Heavy Duty, Breaker, Baroness, Zartan, Destro, Cobra Commander, Cover Girl, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were perfectly cast in appearance. Acting wise? We'll leave that for the cons...
Secondly - The use of the laser weapons was amazing, but there's a con there too.
Thirdly - The storyline wasn't bad and the battle scenese were very well done.
Fourthly (not a word) - It wasn't too short and didn't feel too long ("that's what she said") considering the story kept me interested throughout.
Fifly (also not a word) - The kid from 3rd Rock did a bang up job. I was very impressed with his acting. He was a nice addition. Sure Ledger (who oddly resemble each other) could have been better, but oops! The Baroness was great in this as well as Quaid as Hawk. The attack on the Pit was awesome and very well done. In fact all the 'big' scenes were done up perfect in my opinion. The Last of the Mohicans style beginning battle was awesome with the lasers.
Cons - Script, script, script. I know, it's a toy movie, much like Transformers, but seriously. Channing Tatum (or whatever his forgettable name is) LOOKS like Duke, sure he does, but I would have settled for the main dude from Prison Break, Chris Pine, Ryan Phillipe, the dude from Not Another Teen Movie, maybe even Paul Walker if that's not pushing it? The list could go on forever. But no, they wanted the dude from Step Up. Really? REALLY? I bet Brendan George of the Jungle Fraiser was kicking himself the whole time he was learning his 2 lines as Flint or Sgt. Stone or whoever he ended up getting side cast to be since he was busy making more films that are last minute Red Box picks when that movie you didn't come to get but was going to settle for wasn't there either so you end up with Inkheart! Don't get me wrong, I like Brendan Jungle, but Channing Tatum? REALLY? Man, he was aweful, but he did look like Duke, and I guess that's all they cared about.
The Heavy Duty and Ripcord paragraph. Okay, no I'm not grouping the black guys together, though that is funny and ironically hilarious. Heavy Duty was awesome, I love that he was like British or something foreign giving his character more of a high brow appeal, BUT why Heavy Duty? Was he EVER in the comic more than once or even a key player in the cartoon? I don't remember, though his toy was pretty awesome. Why not Roadblock? Everyone freaking knows Roadblock! The Rock or Vin Diesel would have been perfect for Roadblock, even the Green Mile dude! Guess his constant rhyming would have been annoying after a while, though. Ripcord. Sigh, okay, so here's where I get labeled a racist.... Ripcord, a red head blue eyed white Irish character in origin has become a Will Smith wannabe Wayans. Sure I love him in the Scary Movie films and In Living Color, but c'mon, Ripcord was as white as He-man was white! Why change this? Isn't that racist? Why not have the main black character Stalker instead of a very unpopular and often forgotten character like Ripcord? Then you wouldn't have had any problems. And man, was the Ripcord/Scarlett relationship disgustingly poorly written. I'm all about interacial relationships, so I'll stop you right there, BUT, it was just poorly written and even worsely (worsely?) acted. The Scarlett girl LOOKED just like Scarlett, but she sure didn't act like her. She was such a typical 'weak' female character. The Baroness showed strength and Scarlett should have been the same, oh well. Okay, enough with picking on the people cast, they did their job and will now do a few romantic comedies before quickly being forgotten until the Joe sequel comes out in 3 years.
THE LASERS. The show always had them using lasers and just like in Star Wars and Star Trek, no one ever really got hit by them, save a few times. So when I first saw the attack on the Army with the use of amazing lasers I thought, DUDE. That's awesome! How are the Joes going to be able to fight back? Oh yeah, they didn't, not really. And the lasers were briefly used throughout the film. WHY? If you have a frickin' laser, wouldn't you, oh I don't know, use them?! Hey, Snake Eyes, nice swords, but I have a laser and just blew your head off! Exactly, so why there wasn't more LASER use since they had the technology, I will never understand. I also didn't really like how many of the characters were tied together, that's kind lame and weak, especially since it was all written in for the film only.
So this is why I didn't go see it in the theater, because I knew I would be doing this after I saw it. There's plenty more good than bad in it and I highly recommend renting it and watching at full volume, but it's one of the weaker action films of the year, that's for sure. I am eager to see where they go with it and it still reminds me of how the first X-Men to the sequel grew so much in goodness. I believe G.I. Joe's sequel will do the same and really be something amazing. Money makes stuff happen.
Now... I've left politics alone lately, because I know I'm supposed to respect my government since it's what I'm instructed to do by the One who's really in charge of my life, but seriously, how screwed up is this administration? I love that Mr. O Jelly (there he goes, being racist again...) just came out announcing that suddenly "Al Queda is our biggest threat". Really? You just figured that out? Just now? You just won an air high five and a left handed air guitar solo for 2 minutes! You numbsack! The whole year and we could have been sending over more troops to stun the situation in Afghany and now they have taken Pakistan to deal out arms and receive them. OOPS! Yeah, this one you better not blame on the 'previous adminstration' dude. You seriously need to start owning up to your constant array of mistakes you're pulling out of your straw hat. Yes, I believe that the 2nd Bush term was a mess. NO I did not vote for him but I sure wasn't going to vote for Kerry either, so I have to live with what happened those last 2 years of the Bush administration/Democrat led Congress. So now what, Mr. O Jelly? Can we send over the troops requested half a year ago? I don't think it will matter now, unless you double the number, buddy. This situation could have been prevented, but nope. All I can do is pray and 'hope' that a year from now something real can happen and these clusternuts will be stopped at all corners of the room from continuing on with their implosion of America. Something must be done with Health Care, I agree, but the system that's in place needs the work, not deletion. That won't solve anything. If our fancy rednecks in Congress on BOTH sides could work together on fixing what's wrong instead of hating one another then we'd be back in control and not be the laughing stock country we've become. The American doller is becoming cheaper than toilet paper "Big Roll" style quicker than a Black Friday sale (can I still call it that?). Let's work together or replace the group in office on BOTH sides of the fence and get some fellers in that will work together to get this amazing country back on track. Amen to that
Okay, thanks for reading if ya did and until next time...
So I love that I finally got around to seeing G.I. Joe, the Rise of Cobra. Sure I should have seen it in the theater, but honestly, the trailers I saw were pretty lame. Well, the movie was good. Not great, but good. Reminded me a lot of the first X-Men, meaning that it could have been much better had they known what the audience age was going to be. Obviously, with the violence and heavy use of fancy 'exciter' words they were trying for a teenage/young adult audience and not for kids, other than the Happy meal toys and long lines of action figures which just makes the kids want to see the film, right? In all honesty, the film should have been given a R rating so they could have made it AWESOME. The film obviously wasn't intended for kids, I will argue to the grave on that, so why sugar coat it and why not go ahead and full steam it? Oh yeah, because it would have made less money at the box office. Oops. So it was just a bit of a heavy PG-13 lack luster flick that shoulda coulda been great.
Pros and cons on it? Sure if you're actually reading this far...
Pros - First off, Scarlett, Duke, Hawk, Heavy Duty, Breaker, Baroness, Zartan, Destro, Cobra Commander, Cover Girl, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were perfectly cast in appearance. Acting wise? We'll leave that for the cons...
Secondly - The use of the laser weapons was amazing, but there's a con there too.
Thirdly - The storyline wasn't bad and the battle scenese were very well done.
Fourthly (not a word) - It wasn't too short and didn't feel too long ("that's what she said") considering the story kept me interested throughout.
Fifly (also not a word) - The kid from 3rd Rock did a bang up job. I was very impressed with his acting. He was a nice addition. Sure Ledger (who oddly resemble each other) could have been better, but oops! The Baroness was great in this as well as Quaid as Hawk. The attack on the Pit was awesome and very well done. In fact all the 'big' scenes were done up perfect in my opinion. The Last of the Mohicans style beginning battle was awesome with the lasers.
Cons - Script, script, script. I know, it's a toy movie, much like Transformers, but seriously. Channing Tatum (or whatever his forgettable name is) LOOKS like Duke, sure he does, but I would have settled for the main dude from Prison Break, Chris Pine, Ryan Phillipe, the dude from Not Another Teen Movie, maybe even Paul Walker if that's not pushing it? The list could go on forever. But no, they wanted the dude from Step Up. Really? REALLY? I bet Brendan George of the Jungle Fraiser was kicking himself the whole time he was learning his 2 lines as Flint or Sgt. Stone or whoever he ended up getting side cast to be since he was busy making more films that are last minute Red Box picks when that movie you didn't come to get but was going to settle for wasn't there either so you end up with Inkheart! Don't get me wrong, I like Brendan Jungle, but Channing Tatum? REALLY? Man, he was aweful, but he did look like Duke, and I guess that's all they cared about.
The Heavy Duty and Ripcord paragraph. Okay, no I'm not grouping the black guys together, though that is funny and ironically hilarious. Heavy Duty was awesome, I love that he was like British or something foreign giving his character more of a high brow appeal, BUT why Heavy Duty? Was he EVER in the comic more than once or even a key player in the cartoon? I don't remember, though his toy was pretty awesome. Why not Roadblock? Everyone freaking knows Roadblock! The Rock or Vin Diesel would have been perfect for Roadblock, even the Green Mile dude! Guess his constant rhyming would have been annoying after a while, though. Ripcord. Sigh, okay, so here's where I get labeled a racist.... Ripcord, a red head blue eyed white Irish character in origin has become a Will Smith wannabe Wayans. Sure I love him in the Scary Movie films and In Living Color, but c'mon, Ripcord was as white as He-man was white! Why change this? Isn't that racist? Why not have the main black character Stalker instead of a very unpopular and often forgotten character like Ripcord? Then you wouldn't have had any problems. And man, was the Ripcord/Scarlett relationship disgustingly poorly written. I'm all about interacial relationships, so I'll stop you right there, BUT, it was just poorly written and even worsely (worsely?) acted. The Scarlett girl LOOKED just like Scarlett, but she sure didn't act like her. She was such a typical 'weak' female character. The Baroness showed strength and Scarlett should have been the same, oh well. Okay, enough with picking on the people cast, they did their job and will now do a few romantic comedies before quickly being forgotten until the Joe sequel comes out in 3 years.
THE LASERS. The show always had them using lasers and just like in Star Wars and Star Trek, no one ever really got hit by them, save a few times. So when I first saw the attack on the Army with the use of amazing lasers I thought, DUDE. That's awesome! How are the Joes going to be able to fight back? Oh yeah, they didn't, not really. And the lasers were briefly used throughout the film. WHY? If you have a frickin' laser, wouldn't you, oh I don't know, use them?! Hey, Snake Eyes, nice swords, but I have a laser and just blew your head off! Exactly, so why there wasn't more LASER use since they had the technology, I will never understand. I also didn't really like how many of the characters were tied together, that's kind lame and weak, especially since it was all written in for the film only.
So this is why I didn't go see it in the theater, because I knew I would be doing this after I saw it. There's plenty more good than bad in it and I highly recommend renting it and watching at full volume, but it's one of the weaker action films of the year, that's for sure. I am eager to see where they go with it and it still reminds me of how the first X-Men to the sequel grew so much in goodness. I believe G.I. Joe's sequel will do the same and really be something amazing. Money makes stuff happen.
Now... I've left politics alone lately, because I know I'm supposed to respect my government since it's what I'm instructed to do by the One who's really in charge of my life, but seriously, how screwed up is this administration? I love that Mr. O Jelly (there he goes, being racist again...) just came out announcing that suddenly "Al Queda is our biggest threat". Really? You just figured that out? Just now? You just won an air high five and a left handed air guitar solo for 2 minutes! You numbsack! The whole year and we could have been sending over more troops to stun the situation in Afghany and now they have taken Pakistan to deal out arms and receive them. OOPS! Yeah, this one you better not blame on the 'previous adminstration' dude. You seriously need to start owning up to your constant array of mistakes you're pulling out of your straw hat. Yes, I believe that the 2nd Bush term was a mess. NO I did not vote for him but I sure wasn't going to vote for Kerry either, so I have to live with what happened those last 2 years of the Bush administration/Democrat led Congress. So now what, Mr. O Jelly? Can we send over the troops requested half a year ago? I don't think it will matter now, unless you double the number, buddy. This situation could have been prevented, but nope. All I can do is pray and 'hope' that a year from now something real can happen and these clusternuts will be stopped at all corners of the room from continuing on with their implosion of America. Something must be done with Health Care, I agree, but the system that's in place needs the work, not deletion. That won't solve anything. If our fancy rednecks in Congress on BOTH sides could work together on fixing what's wrong instead of hating one another then we'd be back in control and not be the laughing stock country we've become. The American doller is becoming cheaper than toilet paper "Big Roll" style quicker than a Black Friday sale (can I still call it that?). Let's work together or replace the group in office on BOTH sides of the fence and get some fellers in that will work together to get this amazing country back on track. Amen to that
Okay, thanks for reading if ya did and until next time...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Well, here's the new Jerry Cantrell... I mean Alice In Chains album we all waited for...
First things first. I have been a solid fan of AIC since I first heard Man in the Box in middle school. I also enjoyed Mad Season and both Jerry solo efforts. So my only stab here is that this new AIC album, Black Gives Way to Blue, is that it's obviously just a 3rd Jerry Cantrell solo album that happens to have 2 former AIC members on board, yet hidden in the background. Read on if you would like to know a full circle review of the new record... hozzles.
Track 1(All Secrets Known) is a welcome reminder of good chains sound, though is a bit too slow and literally goes no where. I felt this song needed a lot more than what was settled on to be the lead off to a potential beast of a come back album, but still ends up one of the best songs on the album by far after a second or third listen.
The second track (Check My Brain) I believe is the radio single (I have no idea since me and the radio got divorced about 10 years ago.) and man does it miss the mark by a mile. I feel the lyrics are cheesey and it's just more of a album filler than an actual lead off come back single. When I think of AIC singles this one is dead last for sure. Sorry, Jerry, but what? And it only gets worse...
I would have to say that track 3 (Last of My Kind) is by far the most horrible song ever to carry the name AIC. You could fight me on it, but seriously, it's that bad. (Unfortunately it’s one of the only songs that wasn’t fully written by Mr. Cantrell too, so that’s a bit frightening.) I think I can’t get over the fact that this track directly rips off the chorus of Dragula by Rob Zombie, though replaces his words with terrible terrible Cantrelly lyrics. Sooo disappointed in this song, but didn’t hate it enough to tear apart the whole album, just the afterthought that this seemed finished to them? Hopefully it will grow on me, but man, I just don't know at this point.
I really enjoyed track 4 (Your Decision) Seemed very Sap/Jar of Flies worthy and my only problem with it is that it never goes anywhere. Once it starts you get the feeling of Alice in Chains for sure. Now had William come in stronger over Jerry's voice the song could have really made it's mark. This song feels full and finished though, not quite so demo as the others. The guitar is excellent in this song as Jerry continues to remind us of that throughout the album.
I thought Track 5 (A Looking In View) was close to amazing and as I was listening to it I thought “Man, this is what AIC should sound like in today’s music industry!” But then the song just went on and on and never ever seemed to end then it started all over again, WTF? Was the producer scared to say ANYTHING to Jerry and the gang here? Seemed so. But everything here in this song aside from the fact that it shouldn't have restarted itself in the middle makes a good Alice In Chains jam for sure.
Track 6 (When the sun rose again) is obviously trying to reach back to Jar of Flies, but has a strong interruption into Degradation Trip that is however welcome, though the song also goes no where making it boring in the end, such a waste of potential. Great use of harmonizing between William and Jerry, but just too much Jerry voice, I'm sorry. I know you are the last remaining voice of Alice in Chains, but if you need to be heard so much now then why even have William at all, dude? Let the poor guy out of the wood shed so he can sing a few lines! Either way, nice guitar and music for sure. The lyrics are really awesome though. I just feel like at this point in the album, anything Jerry is singing sounds exactly the same.
Track 7 (Acid bubble) definitely has that AIC feel to it and was refreshing at this point in the album but almost too late to attempt to save it. If this song could have been sped up some more, maybe given a little Facelift jam or even Dirt feel to it, it would have been awesome and not just feel like a Degradation Trip outtake. Now I will say that the guitar jam and vocal chant in the middle and end are awesome and I almost wish the song started right there. But since the 2 parts of the song are such bi-polar opposites they goof the song up when put together, which reminds me of why Degradation Trip 2 disc edition was such a overall iffy failure. Look, I'm not 'stuck in the past' or condemning the band for trying different things and not clinging to what's been done by them, so get over that assumption. All I'm saying is that you put any of their albums up next to each other and this obviously feels less focused on even musically with or without Layne Staley. Okay, back to the review that's as long as the album's feel.
Track 8 (Lessons Learned) should have been the opening track, but it would have made anyone listening automatically say, "Hey, another Jerry solo album." But it is such a good Degradation Trip/Boggy Depot feeling kind of song that it could have almost shown up on Three Legged Dog or a soundtrack (like the 2 badass AIC songs on the Last Action Hero soundtrack - Little Bitter & What the Hell Have I are unbelievable and amazing non album songs). Lessons Learned saves this album from being forgettable in a month from now.
Track 9 (Take her out) was another that I listened to more than the others. I like the idea behind it, musically and lyrically, though have trouble seeing it as an AIC song, or more like where it fits with AIC? It’s just way too Jerry or even something else, and honestly not that great, but good for this album, especially the music side of it. Ultimately, just another semi-boring song on the album sad to say, but good enough to be a selected track pulled out of the album's mess.
Track 10 (Private Hell) is a good AIC type song. It begs from Rain When I Die and Nutshell a bit too much (maybe even the Dirt song) so in that I feel the AIC vibe very very strong on this song and in so I ALMOST love it, but after a few listens instead end up realizing it’s just okay and goes on too long for not being a great enough song capable of 5 minutes. Great guitar solo and feels like an early 90’s song for sure.
The title track to me is just odd and in no way is anything of the AIC name. I just don't feel it yet maybe, but it’s boring though pretty, a little lame and surprisingly short, closing off an album that to me is just too slow and repetitive even for a Jerry solo project.
I have forced myself to listen to (hate to say it like that) this album about six times now. My final decision is that it’s just too slow, every song resembles each other too much or another Chains song too much, and Jerry obviously intended on this to be his next solo album considering he wrote 95% of the album himself, but using a name from the past to push record sales. Whoops.
Now I've seen William live back in 01 and heard him sing some amazing covers of AIC with Jerry back then. This guy is a wicked vocalist but you wouldn’t even know he’s on this album. So disappointing and for every one vocal track of William, we get 3 Jerry vocal tracks that harmonize with each other over his. That may have worked with Layne on Three Legged Dog on a few songs, but obviously Jerry wants to be heard more on this album. Layne, as I’ve come to realize over the years of his absence, had a voice that just came out and existed. Then Jerry would harmonize around it, making it awesome. That’s why it worked, and was such a refreshing and addictive sound. Maybe live Jerry will hold off more, but somehow I doubt it.
Jerry needs to be Jerry with a band. Mike and Sean add close to nothing (I am so disappointed for ever having to say that) to this project other than the fact that when they tour they will be able to play old AIC songs for the crowd’s appeasement as AIC minus Layne and not Jerry with some band no one really knows. The songs are all written out seemingly effortlessly, though the filler and overlaying tracks of guitars are nice, which worries me on why it was even done. I’m not saying that Sean and Mike contributed a TON of writing material to the other albums, but it’s almost like they aren’t even here compared to other albums. I listen to Facelift and every instrument stands out, every vocal track stands out, it’s amazing. Dirt is the same way and Three Legged Dog is where it gets a little hazey, but with songs like Head Creeps and Frogs who the bacon cares, they are amazing in their own and showcase the individual members for sure. This album will never stand up to even Three Legged Dog in my opinion and thus will always be that long awaited Jerry solo follow up to Degradation Trip that didn’t quite cut the mustard beans…
On a final note... it’s almost like the whole time I was listening to it I felt like I was listening to songs in their early stages of formation. This makes me wonder if the producers of the AIC albums of past had more of a hand in the writing and structuring of the songs we know and love. That scares me and I'd rather not believe it. Instead I’d Dan Rather believe that there was either pressure from the record label or just anxiety and fear from Jerry and the gang going into this to make it right and dropped the ball some. Who knows, but it’s an overall okay album, good to hear something of this style so late in the middle of the age of mostly terrible, recycled music and we’ll just have to see what happens next, if anything at all.
Track 1(All Secrets Known) is a welcome reminder of good chains sound, though is a bit too slow and literally goes no where. I felt this song needed a lot more than what was settled on to be the lead off to a potential beast of a come back album, but still ends up one of the best songs on the album by far after a second or third listen.
The second track (Check My Brain) I believe is the radio single (I have no idea since me and the radio got divorced about 10 years ago.) and man does it miss the mark by a mile. I feel the lyrics are cheesey and it's just more of a album filler than an actual lead off come back single. When I think of AIC singles this one is dead last for sure. Sorry, Jerry, but what? And it only gets worse...
I would have to say that track 3 (Last of My Kind) is by far the most horrible song ever to carry the name AIC. You could fight me on it, but seriously, it's that bad. (Unfortunately it’s one of the only songs that wasn’t fully written by Mr. Cantrell too, so that’s a bit frightening.) I think I can’t get over the fact that this track directly rips off the chorus of Dragula by Rob Zombie, though replaces his words with terrible terrible Cantrelly lyrics. Sooo disappointed in this song, but didn’t hate it enough to tear apart the whole album, just the afterthought that this seemed finished to them? Hopefully it will grow on me, but man, I just don't know at this point.
I really enjoyed track 4 (Your Decision) Seemed very Sap/Jar of Flies worthy and my only problem with it is that it never goes anywhere. Once it starts you get the feeling of Alice in Chains for sure. Now had William come in stronger over Jerry's voice the song could have really made it's mark. This song feels full and finished though, not quite so demo as the others. The guitar is excellent in this song as Jerry continues to remind us of that throughout the album.
I thought Track 5 (A Looking In View) was close to amazing and as I was listening to it I thought “Man, this is what AIC should sound like in today’s music industry!” But then the song just went on and on and never ever seemed to end then it started all over again, WTF? Was the producer scared to say ANYTHING to Jerry and the gang here? Seemed so. But everything here in this song aside from the fact that it shouldn't have restarted itself in the middle makes a good Alice In Chains jam for sure.
Track 6 (When the sun rose again) is obviously trying to reach back to Jar of Flies, but has a strong interruption into Degradation Trip that is however welcome, though the song also goes no where making it boring in the end, such a waste of potential. Great use of harmonizing between William and Jerry, but just too much Jerry voice, I'm sorry. I know you are the last remaining voice of Alice in Chains, but if you need to be heard so much now then why even have William at all, dude? Let the poor guy out of the wood shed so he can sing a few lines! Either way, nice guitar and music for sure. The lyrics are really awesome though. I just feel like at this point in the album, anything Jerry is singing sounds exactly the same.
Track 7 (Acid bubble) definitely has that AIC feel to it and was refreshing at this point in the album but almost too late to attempt to save it. If this song could have been sped up some more, maybe given a little Facelift jam or even Dirt feel to it, it would have been awesome and not just feel like a Degradation Trip outtake. Now I will say that the guitar jam and vocal chant in the middle and end are awesome and I almost wish the song started right there. But since the 2 parts of the song are such bi-polar opposites they goof the song up when put together, which reminds me of why Degradation Trip 2 disc edition was such a overall iffy failure. Look, I'm not 'stuck in the past' or condemning the band for trying different things and not clinging to what's been done by them, so get over that assumption. All I'm saying is that you put any of their albums up next to each other and this obviously feels less focused on even musically with or without Layne Staley. Okay, back to the review that's as long as the album's feel.
Track 8 (Lessons Learned) should have been the opening track, but it would have made anyone listening automatically say, "Hey, another Jerry solo album." But it is such a good Degradation Trip/Boggy Depot feeling kind of song that it could have almost shown up on Three Legged Dog or a soundtrack (like the 2 badass AIC songs on the Last Action Hero soundtrack - Little Bitter & What the Hell Have I are unbelievable and amazing non album songs). Lessons Learned saves this album from being forgettable in a month from now.
Track 9 (Take her out) was another that I listened to more than the others. I like the idea behind it, musically and lyrically, though have trouble seeing it as an AIC song, or more like where it fits with AIC? It’s just way too Jerry or even something else, and honestly not that great, but good for this album, especially the music side of it. Ultimately, just another semi-boring song on the album sad to say, but good enough to be a selected track pulled out of the album's mess.
Track 10 (Private Hell) is a good AIC type song. It begs from Rain When I Die and Nutshell a bit too much (maybe even the Dirt song) so in that I feel the AIC vibe very very strong on this song and in so I ALMOST love it, but after a few listens instead end up realizing it’s just okay and goes on too long for not being a great enough song capable of 5 minutes. Great guitar solo and feels like an early 90’s song for sure.
The title track to me is just odd and in no way is anything of the AIC name. I just don't feel it yet maybe, but it’s boring though pretty, a little lame and surprisingly short, closing off an album that to me is just too slow and repetitive even for a Jerry solo project.
I have forced myself to listen to (hate to say it like that) this album about six times now. My final decision is that it’s just too slow, every song resembles each other too much or another Chains song too much, and Jerry obviously intended on this to be his next solo album considering he wrote 95% of the album himself, but using a name from the past to push record sales. Whoops.
Now I've seen William live back in 01 and heard him sing some amazing covers of AIC with Jerry back then. This guy is a wicked vocalist but you wouldn’t even know he’s on this album. So disappointing and for every one vocal track of William, we get 3 Jerry vocal tracks that harmonize with each other over his. That may have worked with Layne on Three Legged Dog on a few songs, but obviously Jerry wants to be heard more on this album. Layne, as I’ve come to realize over the years of his absence, had a voice that just came out and existed. Then Jerry would harmonize around it, making it awesome. That’s why it worked, and was such a refreshing and addictive sound. Maybe live Jerry will hold off more, but somehow I doubt it.
Jerry needs to be Jerry with a band. Mike and Sean add close to nothing (I am so disappointed for ever having to say that) to this project other than the fact that when they tour they will be able to play old AIC songs for the crowd’s appeasement as AIC minus Layne and not Jerry with some band no one really knows. The songs are all written out seemingly effortlessly, though the filler and overlaying tracks of guitars are nice, which worries me on why it was even done. I’m not saying that Sean and Mike contributed a TON of writing material to the other albums, but it’s almost like they aren’t even here compared to other albums. I listen to Facelift and every instrument stands out, every vocal track stands out, it’s amazing. Dirt is the same way and Three Legged Dog is where it gets a little hazey, but with songs like Head Creeps and Frogs who the bacon cares, they are amazing in their own and showcase the individual members for sure. This album will never stand up to even Three Legged Dog in my opinion and thus will always be that long awaited Jerry solo follow up to Degradation Trip that didn’t quite cut the mustard beans…
On a final note... it’s almost like the whole time I was listening to it I felt like I was listening to songs in their early stages of formation. This makes me wonder if the producers of the AIC albums of past had more of a hand in the writing and structuring of the songs we know and love. That scares me and I'd rather not believe it. Instead I’d Dan Rather believe that there was either pressure from the record label or just anxiety and fear from Jerry and the gang going into this to make it right and dropped the ball some. Who knows, but it’s an overall okay album, good to hear something of this style so late in the middle of the age of mostly terrible, recycled music and we’ll just have to see what happens next, if anything at all.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sure, why not..
So, I had pretty much dropped this blog. But, I'll tell you what's been up since November....
Extra good times and many blessings for sure. Krisi is now due in 5 weeks. We found out we're having a baby girl, Madelyn Eve. Krisi's hangin in there for sure, and we're remodeling our new rent home, trying to get moved in by this weekend. Much ruckus there for sure...
Kylun is ever awesome, and has grown up a ridiculous amount since November. It's amazing for me to sit there and watch him play Super Nintendo games that I sucked at in middle school!
He's pumped about his new home and baby sister (until he realizes she's here I'm sure)
Krisi's job stayed clear of the strike and mine was also spared so far during this ridiculous ObamacounterbalanceAmericansinkholehe'sdigging. I feel the need to hand over my guns now, though I don't own one, after today's news. Anyways, aside from political, Nico moved back to the Triangle of death, and we are going to begin building something amazing for this area in the art department. Also capping out currently is the big push for the WF project, which is getting more and more ridiculously awesome and ready to leap out at any moment (my new kid is also doing this!)
So anyways, other than that, I think we're up to date now.
Extra good times and many blessings for sure. Krisi is now due in 5 weeks. We found out we're having a baby girl, Madelyn Eve. Krisi's hangin in there for sure, and we're remodeling our new rent home, trying to get moved in by this weekend. Much ruckus there for sure...
Kylun is ever awesome, and has grown up a ridiculous amount since November. It's amazing for me to sit there and watch him play Super Nintendo games that I sucked at in middle school!
He's pumped about his new home and baby sister (until he realizes she's here I'm sure)
Krisi's job stayed clear of the strike and mine was also spared so far during this ridiculous ObamacounterbalanceAmericansinkholehe'sdigging. I feel the need to hand over my guns now, though I don't own one, after today's news. Anyways, aside from political, Nico moved back to the Triangle of death, and we are going to begin building something amazing for this area in the art department. Also capping out currently is the big push for the WF project, which is getting more and more ridiculously awesome and ready to leap out at any moment (my new kid is also doing this!)
So anyways, other than that, I think we're up to date now.
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